After being the shoulder to cry on for two of my friends and their problems with guys I started thinking was the winter the new summer? Is it so desirable to be single at the time of over layering or is the label it’s complicated ruling the runways again? Mostly the excuses were the same and dated to 21st-century relationship diggers syndrome. When it comes to the past life of our loved ones should there be a trigger to reevaluate our relationship weighting the mistakes we make? How is it possible that sometimes you just want to go back, dig an old field of mines and blow the future away? I would say that insecurity makes people do crazy things. Majority of millennial’s are insecure with themselves to the point that they can’t trust one another just because they don’t trust themselves. Happened to me. I wouldn’t even say there’s a difference between sexes, it just became the new normal, the trend of relationship diggers. The problem of falling in terms of relationship too quickly or for the wrong reasons is rising higher than hungry Dracula up his coffin. The reason for the whole problem is selfishness. If you look at love in terms of modern romance you can see 80% of people who are in a relationship being described selfish. There is nothing wrong with being selfish, you should always aim for the newest collection of Gucci, but when you do, don’t mix it with love since Gucci patchwork bag lasts for two seasons tops. Enrich yourself on your own to be able to fall in true love. After I explained my reasoning to Valentine, she just turned her head around nodding with agreeing after blowing a cigarette smoke away. –“Babe, I couldn’t agree more. The funny thing is you sometimes make mistakes you are trying to prevent but just in a different order so you confuse yourself. Although what’s the deal with you? You are too long in the same hole, I’m getting worried.” As the winter took its turn, and Croatia became grey and boring there came a time for a change. Not that I’m vaccinated against love, to get a crush is like going to store for me, it happens a lot and I’m embracing it. More or less… But it is not transferred either to trail relationship errors or hookups with a sudden end. I like to consider myself of being in the middle. Through winter I was attracting people who were already in relationships without me knowing at first. Always. I attract sandwiches if only I could exchange them for macaroons. Laduree is my middle name.
Almost three months ago I was fighting my mother over a basic packing situation. “Teo, be reasonable. You don’t need this many clothes, what do you need all those winter sweaters!” Well, thank you, mommy dearest, because since I landed to Barcelona the weather is all but treating my nicely which is why since we came were constantly searching for closest sunny meccas.
Landing at Barcelona airport because of all dazzling sea made me say to my new roomie “Dorothy, we aren’t in Kanzas anymore!” and sure we weren’t.
7:00 PM Paula checking Uber availability. “Wait how is this possible, there are no cars available… Wait. What.. Uber doesn’t exist in Spain?” Stressed, tired and eager to find an apartment we went for regular doubled priced taxis to our new neighborhood La Barceloneta. All we knew at that point was that we want to live next to the beaches. Basically, that was about it. After pulling few apartment listings we arranged viewings and kept our fingers crossed that at least one of them meets our standards.
8:20 PM After signing contracts for our dream flat the hunger games started. While searching for grocery shops we had an encounter with our new black friend who almost threw us on the floor out of friendliness. Black labrador Frida. -“She probably recognized the language and got excited!.” –“Oh you are from Zagreb as well? Living here? This was such a coincidence!” –“Yes, we moved here almost a year ago now.”
8:40 PM Text message appears on P mama’s iPhone: “What are you doing with my girlfriend and dog at Barceloneta? Saša” The funny thing was we ran into girlfriend and dog of P mama’s ex-business partner. The world is so small. What a nice warm welcome. What else do we need?
10:00 PM Getting our facemask game on and falling asleep.
Morocco stands for the new Africa. It is a kingdom but completely free country. Coming to the sparkle white airport of Marrakech we felt more like being in the Middle East than Africa. “Shine bright like a diamonds, shine bright like a diamonds..” Kelly started singing. Kelly is lovely and she loves traveling and discovering herself as much as I do. Our last damaged relationships fit us good too. Morocco was all about discovering the new culture, new rituals, and landmarks. As we checked in into the hotel, our Moroccan girl Nikma was ready to show us around. Nikma lived in Morocco for 10 years now and she is a Muslim. -“Morocco is a free country, thereby Muslin woman isn’t as in old times anymore. They are studying, working, they don’t have to wear burkas if they don’t want. The reason they do it is to be entirely exposed only to their husband. Is the game of love.” -“The religion isn’t free.” A man yelled between the lines. –“Religion isn’t free, we are still here to obey the rules of it and listen to Gods sayings, but the land is free.” Nikma replied with a laugh. A man just hummed away with agreeing. There is seeable uncertainty in men eyes, but what for? I believe how women are getting more and more powerful around the world, same trends are followed in Morocco too. Women here are businesswomen now. Nikma finished law school and after working in diplomacy started her life as a tourist guide. She earns her salary, as well as a fee for everything tourist buy in the stores she takes them. I love how women are becoming equal to men and showing the strength of self-sufficiently. I asked her about her love life and she replied how she is in marriage for 20 years now. I felt like crossing my boundaries and craved to ask something more challenging. –“Nikma what is like to be a free-spirited woman in a marriage?” –“It has its certain strength but at the same time he loves me for it and I love him for loving the true me.” And just like that, she proved my theories about selfishness, self-sufficiency, and freedom. -“It is easy to be selfish today… Everyone wants at least equal amount of attention his or her friends have. Given that people do want the best for themselves…” Uga replied to me after hearing my new love thesis. Uga is someone who is always there for me when I need a person to talk to and who almost never disagrees. She is fun and loving person who is never selfish even though she may want to appear that way sometimes. -“… I can see where you are coming from though. I understand you are talking about a different kind of selfishness. Just be aware that there is a thin line between being selfish and successful, sometimes it cannot go one without the other. But misusing is easily seeable.” Uga continued. Spending a night in a dessert made me value fear. In the world of empowerment, selfishness and relationship diggers one thing connects them all – fear. Whether it was a fear of not doing our maximum or fear of finding out others level of maximum. Fear is releasing pressure and expanding our possibilities but how we act is completely unique. It’s designed by our character and standards. Start by loving yourself and embracing the fear. Experiment. Discover. Feel.
–Some of the names got replaced– 💖